WHEN THE LIGHT BEGINS TO FADE: A Mother’s Story about Gender Dysphoria (Introduction)

In my small corner of the social media world, I open my page to my writing, favorite quotes, or even an article that strikes me as important enough to share. Last summer, I posted about the growing phenomenon of teenage girls being seduced into the world of transgenderism. It was an article that highlighted Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters.

Shrier’s book should be a must-read for every parent. It’s one of those books that awakens you to a world you might not have realized existed or maybe that you think won’t touch you or your family—until one day it does.

The reality is more and more of our daughters want to be our sons, and what do we do about it?

They call it gender dysphoria—girls (or boys) who feel trapped in the wrong body. Online influencers say, “Do it! Take those puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, or surgically remove your breasts. You’ll feel, oh, so better about yourself.” The medical community hands out hormone prescriptions to minors without parental consent. Their daughters start to grow facial hair, and their voices begin to change. Counselors are told conversion therapy is discrimination and “to help” these biological girls embrace their new transgender identity. Schools allow students to live a double life. A girl and daughter at home, but, shhh, we won’t tell, a transgender male with matching pronouns at school.

Parents feel alone and isolated. Read Shrier’s book. It is full of parent regret stories of watching their little girls grow up with mutilated adult bodies that never quite look male. Suppose this trend is social contagion influenced by peers. In that case, there’s proof our society is looking the other way and enabling our girls to be fragmented pieces of their true biological selves, with infertility to boot.

The more I read about this growing craze of adolescent girls going to drastic measures to deny their biological sex, the more I felt the spiritual battle in our society. This isn’t about mental illness, anxiety, or depression; although, I think those are all contributing factors. It’s about the spirit of darkness that will do anything to destroy life and deny the power of Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

There’s so much power in that phrase “in the image of God” that Satan will distort and deceive to destroy who God has created. He does it with abortion, drug addiction, eating disorders, sexual addiction, and now something increasingly written about in medical journals and news articles—gender dysphoria.

On my blog, I invite you to read about the transgender issue through a mother’s eyes. Susan (not her real name) is a Christian mom just like me and maybe just like you. She reached out to me when I posted the article last summer. Her comment on Facebook invited me into her world:

“It’s real [gender dysphoria], and not just with girls in schools influenced by their friends. My beautiful, joy-filled, homeschooled daughter slowly fell victim to this after being exposed online. At thirteen she began using the internet more frequently for schoolwork and her joy, her light and her entire personality changed. Two suicide attempts and many cutting sessions later, we have found a Christian therapist who is just now beginning to peel away the layers of her self-diagnosed gender dysphoria. Our hearts break when we have to dispense her medicine for anxiety/depression because she can’t be trusted with a full bottle of any type of pills. I cried for days when she changed her name tag at work to her chosen male name. I know it sounds petty, but I thank God she can’t afford transition drugs. It’s real, oh my dear God, it’s SO REAL! And we had no reference point as to what was happening…until I read this article this morning. Thank you for posting, Julie.”

For the last six months, I have read Susan’s emails to me. She’s a writer too, who has let me into her family’s agonizing struggle. As a parent, my heart aches with every pain she conveys over her daughter’s desire to be a boy. Then an email comes through with a hint of a possible breakthrough, and I want to celebrate the small victory that might lead to total freedom from her daughter’s gender dysphoria.

Susan and I also share something that is not conveyed on the pages of Abigail Shrier’s book. We have a firm belief in the transforming power of Jesus Christ. The chains of gender dysphoria can be broken, and her daughter can be set free. We know that. We pray for it daily! There’s a spiritual battle going on in her home. Many other families are going through this same battle, but they are not letting people in because it’s a new phenomenon and it’s scary. How do we maneuver as Christians with this one, Lord? Our daughters are suffering.

Susan has agreed to let you into her world through my platform as a writer. This is something that I have prayed about and asked the Holy Spirit for direction. I feel God has called me to share other people’s stories. Susan feels ready to share her heart on the pages of my blog. She’s vetted me as a writer, and I have vetted her story as much as I can while understanding that the need to remain anonymous and shield her family is extremely important. “It’s so good to finally be able to share our story, even though we’re still in the midst of the battle,” Susan acknowledges. “The world needs to know!”

This is the introduction to a series that I will post about Susan’s journey through her daughter’s gender identity struggle. I ask that you share it wherever you can. If you know a parent dealing with this issue, please share. If you are a youth leader or a pastor, please read. Gender dysphoria might not be an issue that has reached your congregation, but I guarantee you it will. Our society is embracing and celebrating transgenderism at an alarming rate, and it is destroying lives. We need to be united and grounded in Scripture to fight this spiritual battle with our brothers and sisters in Christ. “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26-27, ESV)

I pray God uses both Susan’s words and mine to honor Christ and that chains will be broken. Our children’s lives depend on it.

More to come…